I should 'have' versus I should 'of' (and other irritants)

Firstly, let me just point out that it's 'have'.  It's not a tricky rule, it's always 'have'.

This issue seems to largely stem from the abbreviation of have to 'ave (the somewhat lazy dropping of the "h"), so -

"I should have done this yesterday"

becomes

"I should 'ave done this yesterday"

and then

"I should of done this yesterday"

This will almost certainly not bother most well (of which I do not consider myself) adjusted people, but it drives me insane.  I can't stand lazy language (by 'lazy' I'm referring to lazy omission, not contraction) .  Don't get me wrong, everybody makes mistakes, so this isn't about jumping on people and teasing them for making the smallest mistake (or being a spelling/grammar Nazi as it has become so dubbed) .

This is about the language changing.  It's about people not understanding, or even thinking about, what they are saying.

How many of you have uttered the dismissive expression "I could care less about [something]"?  Really, you could?  Thinking about it for a second, that expression likely means the complete opposite of what you really mean (which is that you, in reality, couldn't care less).  But you have probably heard it said that way (or perhaps just thought you heard it said that way) and repeated it.

Sometimes (most of the time) though, it's just about educating yourself.  English isn't that hard of a language (for EFL speakers), but when you can't get the basics right, but ESL speakers can, I don't understand how that doesn't bother you.

Literally versus figuratively

This is another of my favourites.  The word "literally" is literally hardly ever used correctly.  That's because people seem to confuse it for figuratively.  Literally means in a literal manner or sense; exactly.  Figuratively means, well, the opposite; in a figurative sense.

So "I was so scared, I literally wet myself" means you actually wet your pants.  It is unlikely you have "literally" told anyone, anything "a million times", and you sure as shit didn't "literally die"; ever (unless you're dead.  In which case I'm really sorry about that; literally).

So next time you "were like, literally frozen to death" because it was so cold, just think about it.  If you're still around to tell the tale, you were probably just quite cold.

Facebook seems to be the main home for these types of errors (or maybe it's just my Facebook friends), but don't be under any misapprehension, this is not blame that can be laid at the door of social media.  The blame sits firmly with the typist.

A friend of mine once write "too-shay" in a comment.  Now, where the flying-ferret did that come from?  I refuse to accept that any educator is going through their career explaining that touché is translated into too-shay.  When I queried, my friend explained that while he was aware of the existence of touché, 'this' was the French spelling and in English, it was "too-shay".  This still baffles me to this day.

Here's a little cheat sheet for those who struggle with their, there and they're (this seems to be one of the most common errors) -

Their: It belongs to them.  It's their ball.
There: Referring to a location.  It's over there.
They're: Contraction of they are.  They're in the restaurant.

I know what some of you are thinking, "Does it really matter if I should of used 'their' instead of 'there'".

Well yes (and it's "if I should have used").  It really does.  Especially for those of you looking for work.

If you struggle with grammar, consider using something like Grammarly's browser plugin.  This add-on allows more than just spelling to be checked, but also grammar and all sorts of other bits and pieces (the 'lite' version is free by the way).  It's supported on Chrome, Firefox 4+ and Safari browsers, but let's be honest, if you're still using Internet Explorer, you have bigger issues than whether it's your or you're.