The Testament

George Lucas did it, Sheldon Turner did it; and now, I'm (considering) doing it.

"What's this craziest to which you are talking Mr James" I hear you ask

Well, firstly, don't call me Mr James. Secondly, the craziest to which I am talking, is prequels. We needed to find out how Darth Vader came to be the emotionally inept arse that he is; Lucas provided that answer for us.

We needed to find out, exactly which hardware store was the main retailer of chainsaws for the massacre in Texas; Turner helped us out by shedding light on such a mystery (it was Lowes - I know! My money was on Home Depot! Sorry if I ruined it for anyone).

So, I was thinking the other day, the Bible starts at Genesis, right? God created the world, life and everything as we know it today (well, it was better when He did it; we've screwed it up since then).

But, what happened before then

God's been around forever, right Well, someone should really write about that. What happened before that

Do you think if we knew all about why God created us, we'd be better, or worse off

So, I've quit my job, and I've decided to set about writing "The Testament". This prequel to the well known "The Old Testament" will set the scene for all the prophecy we have come to know and love.

In turn, it will cast a much more explanatory light onto the best seller "The New Testament", explaining some key issues surrounding some of the characters, happenings and events.

The New York Times said "Brilliant, do not read the other two without first reading The Testament, it's a must read for 2007".

This is, in least of all, impressive as I haven't even written it yet.

Now, I can't take any credit for the literary work of "The Old Testament", nor "The New Testament"; but I can assure that this will almost certainly, not fail to move you, help you and make you really think about the validity of spending $29.99 on the book.

Early copies can be reserved for a $0.20c discount, let me know if you're interested.

P.S. Although this blog is entirely tongue in cheek, it is not designed to offend anyone. Please accept my apologies if it has. Note: I will remove any and all comments if I deem them to be offensive, derogatory or unnecessarily rude; at my discretion. It's my blog, and while you're reading under my roof, you're read by my rules.

Editorial: While searching for a suitable picture, I noticed that Mr John Girsham actually stole my book title! I don't know how he did it, but he must have a time machine he fashioned from old cream cheese. I have used the picture regardless, and hereby agree that if Mr Grisham asks, I shall pay him $100 for every $1million I make on this book. I can't say fairer than that.